The One Thing I Desperately Want – Reaching Blindly

There is something that I want. Desperately.

I want it enough to push myself beyond my limits and devote every moment I can spare to obtain it.

What I want is a future filled with joy, passion, and a sense of fulfillment. I know it is out there, brighter, and happier than I can even imagine, drawing me on through the long and short days as time steadily marches forward. Even though I don’t know exactly what this future looks like, what it will contain, or even when I will be able to hold it, I have decided to continue to reach blindly for what I know I will one day be able to grasp.

I have decided to start a 365.

Because if my future is moving forward, so will I. And so, for the next year, I will be sharing a new image every single day.

 

 

This wasn’t a decision made on a whim, but rather one I spent many weeks mulling over. Through all those weeks, the only argument I could ever come up with against starting was a lack of time. Six seperate thoughts, which had repeatedly entered my mind throughout the course of my decision making, eventually made time seem like such an inadequate excuse that I could no longer ignore this prompting.

1. If something is important, really, truly important, you make time for it, right?

2. I needed to push myself. The greatest periods of growth come when we’re stretched to our very limit, giving every last little bit of ourselves that we have.

 

 

3. This would be an opportunity to try new things, to experiment and discover. To share an image every day requires sources of inspiration to be drawn from far and wide.

4. While photography is something I am very passionate about, who knows if twenty years from now, or even five, if that will be the case. However I do know that what I am TRULY passionate about is creativity. To be able to think outside the box and push the limits of reality. This 365 will be the start of making creativity an integral part of who I am. 

 

 

5. There is an annoying little voice that has existed in my thoughts since before I can remember. A voice that tells me I’m not as good as them, that I am not THAT talented, or that I messed up. This perfectionism is something that has its place, however I no longer want it to oust creativity from center stage. By forcing myself to post something everyday, my habit of obsessing over every inconsequential detail and thereby delaying my image releases, will hopefully begin to fade.

6. Finally, and most importantly, I decided to start this project because of an answer to many prayers I have spoken these last few months. I have learned that sometimes our Father guides with gentle nudges of half formed ideas that linger despite our attempts to dislodge them from our heart. 

 

 

And so here I am, 10 days into my project and ready to see where I land. There will undoubtedly be many days when I don’t feel like creating something new. Of going out and shooting, or opening up Photoshop to work on a new image. Perhaps this is why I felt compelled to write this post today. On days 100, 200, and every single day between now and 365, when I feel so tired and ready to quit, this post will be waiting for me, reminding me of all the reasons why I started, compelling me to finish strong.

May all the stress, frustration, triumphs, and successes be worth every effort, come October 24, 2017.