It’s my birthday this week…. Any guesses which day?

Here’s a hint: I’m a Summer baby, not a Spring baby.

 

Anyway, this week, I am turning 28, which means it’s been TEN years since I graduated from high school and began life as an “adult” (although, let’s be real… 18-year-olds are still kids). Of course, me being the sentimental person that I am, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what I’ve learned these past ten years. What would I say, could my 28 year old self write a letter to this newly graduated, wide-eyed 18-year-old that I was?

 

 

Well, this is what I would say:

 

Dear Madeline,

Congratulations for surviving your senior year in India and for being accepted to BYU! You really took a chance there, only applying to one college, but it paid off in the end! One thing hasn’t changed: it may take you forever to make up your mind, but once you’ve decided, you don’t want anything else. Anyway, you’re going to have a BLAST spending your freshman year so close to Megan. She’ll teach you where all the best restaurants are and make sure you always have someone to lean on during this upcoming year.

Oh, and after eating spicy Indian food for a year, the Cannon Center is going to taste bland as all. get. out. But the waffles on Saturday mornings will make up for it!

You’ll learn a LOT these next ten years. And ironically you’ll learn the most important things after you graduate from university. But first, just study International Relations. If I could roll my eyes in a letter, I would. You’re going to spend the next three years taking every class under the sun, telling yourself that you can’t do IR because Calculus is too hard. Eventually you’ll suck it up and take that Calculus class (because again, you do know what you really want and nothing else will do).

Spoiler: you’ll graduate with a Bachelor of Arts in International Relations.

 

 

But in all honesty, that extra year you took to graduate will actually be a good thing. Because during that year you’ll meet some of your very best friends. You know, the type of friends where you can dress up like an idiot to go get frozen yogurt at 11 pm on a school night with (funky 80s leggings, fake glasses and all).

 

So then you’ll graduate with your awesome degree aaaaaand….

… not have a single clue what to do next. You’ll take the year off to nanny for an incredible family and travel around like the true millenial you are.  And you’ll learn that sometimes not having a plan is one of the best things you can do.

 

 

In the next ten years, you’ll also learn some really important lessons:

You’ll learn that you are capable of falling in love (and having your heart broken).

You’ll gain self-confidence, something I know you’ve wanted your whole life. Don’t worry, you’ll get there.

You’ll learn the true power of the atonement, and how it can be a real and powerful thing in teaching you of God’s love for you. You, individually, as His daughter.

 

You’ll move to Boston and you’ll be busier than you’ve ever been in your life. Take a break every once in a while, for goodness’ sake!

No seriously. TAKE. A. BREAK! Lounge on the couch and watch a TV show (and ONLY watch a TV show, not try to accomplish a million things during that 30 minute episode). Take fun trips with your friends and explore this part of the country you’ve never been to before. Take advantage of the fact that you can drive through 5 states in just about as many hours (FYI, you’ll probably double the number of states you’ve been to in these next three years, so get your bucket list ready)!

 

 

You’ll also understand what it’s like to feel like God is ignoring you. And that really, really sucks. You’ll pray and pray and pray…. and pray more and hear nothing back in return. You’ll get angry with Him and tell him some silly thing like “fine, I’m done talking to you!” But then you’ll realize how much you need Him in your life, to talk to someone about how lost and frustrated you feel, and to know that someone understands you completely, like no one else ever will. And then you’ll start praying again.

And then you’ll realize that sometimes He doesn’t answer our prayers because He knows we either 1) already know the answer 2) will make the right choice on our own, or 3) there IS no right answer (in which case, He’s probably rolling His eyes and saying “do whatever the heck you want, Madeline! But just do it already!”)

 

You’ll be single for quite a bit longer, and that will be so, SO good for you! Don’t get me wrong, marriage is still something you’ll really want (and should want!), but not having someone else to lean on means that you will have to figure all the hard things out by yourself. You’ll move multiple times. You’ll have to navigate setting up your own 401k, health insurance, and actually becoming an adult (don’t worry, dad will help you out whenever you need him). All of this will make you proud of what you’ve accomplished and, as I mentioned earlier, you’ll learn a lot about self-confidence!

 

 

You’ll find photography, and as the years go by, you’ll find that it has given you something to be truly passionate about for the first time in your life. And most importantly, being single will allow you, on the cusp of your 28th birthday to make the decision to take the risk, quit your job, and really focus on this passion. And because of the faith you’ve learned to have in God and the confidence in yourself, you’ll know with absolute conviction that it is the right choice.

So enjoy these next ten years! They will be nothing like what you expected… but I think you might already know that. Because you’re a Stoker, and Stokers know two things: 1) family comes first and 2) always expect the unexpected. God always has a better idea for our future than we do.

 

With love,

Your Future Self